Many years ago, when we first moved into our neighborhood, we were surprised and pleased to see deer wandering in the nearby woods and even walking boldly into our yard. Although we enjoyed watching the deer, we had to use caution when driving down our street after dark, since deer would often leap into the road in front of our car.
We also learned a valuable lesson: when you see one deer in the road, there's almost always more deer behind it, so it's wise to wait for a minute until the other deer have also crossed the road before proceeding.
Life is full of these sorts of patterns of behavior, whether we're talking about deer or people. It's important to recognize patterns — not only in the lives of those around us, but also in our own lives — so that we can make wiser, more informed decisions.
One benefit of recognizing patterns is that it helps us to improve our interaction with others. If we know that one of our co-workers "isn't a morning person," perhaps we shouldn't go bounding into their office at sunrise bellowing the lyrics to Frank Sinatra's "My Way."
Similarly, if we recognize that someone bristles at any mention of politics, we should probably avoid venting our feelings about boxes of classified government documents being stored at someone's home. For someone who really enjoys munching on candy corn, we could brighten their day by leaving a bag of these goodies on their desk with a note of encouragement (and perhaps a box of toothpicks and directions to a nearby dentist).
Another benefit of recognizing patterns is that we learn to manage our expectations of others so we can try to avoid disappointment or frustration. For that co-worker who simply "isn't a morning person," we're less likely to expect a cheerfully boisterous greeting when they first walk in the door. Give them time to have that third cup of strong coffee and a chocolate croissant.
What about recognizing patterns in our own lives? This can have a positive impact by leading us to greater self-awareness and reflection on how our personality was formed and why we follow particular behavior patterns. Some our own negative patterns may need to be altered for us to achieve greater success. Some of these negative patterns might include habitually running late to arrive somewhere, struggling to complete tasks on time, or suffering from disorganization.
We must overcome any limiting beliefs that "we can never change." Patterns can be changed with determination and practice, but change requires intentionality.
If you're unsure what patterns you may need to change, just ask your family — they are usually more than happy to list countless ways you could improve yourself! (I can personally testify to this.)
If you're feeling brave, ask a friend or colleague for some feedback. But stick with those patterns you're proud of — these make you who you are!
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